A Sumptuous Debut
Nigella makes her debut, Mo takes Star Baker, and nobody goes home after Shannon falls ill. The newsroom gives its first reactions to Cake Week.
I consider myself one of Prue Leith's biggest fans, and I was devastated to see her go (I took two weeks off work at The Weekly Dollop to recover after the announcement). But I was amazed that Nigella not only fitted in instantly with Paul, Alison, and Noel, but also took the lead as the cast's flagship member in her debut appearance. Quite the suitable replacement for Prue, in my estimation.
I was also impressed with the class and quality she brought to the show's tone. The Bake Off is the world's premier amateur baking contest, after all. Now, I can put up with the occasional banter between presenters and contestants to ease tensions, but it had got way too lax, in my opinion! The tent is sacred and the contest most serious, and I'm glad someone is treating it as such. A subdued snicker at "sticky willy" is acceptable, at most!
Newsroom Articles
📊 Who's Ready for Advanced Analysis!?
Finally, some baker data for me to plug into my prediction models! I can start testing my hypothesis about the relationship between drag queen identity and baking ability (I began pondering this after Jessika last year). I think it has something to do with the thick makeup and icing piping.
My early analysis favours this week's Star Baker, 21-year-old law student Mo (the closest historical data match to handsome 20-year-old Dylan, a finalist in 2024), and blue-eyed, blond-haired Tom (well-manicured, sassy male bakers go 40.9% further in the competition, on average) to be Hot bakers and early Fresh Bakes favourites.
My models also predict that Danni will be eliminated next week, with 91.2% confidence. Sorry, Danni.
Gary should have won Star Baker this week, but he is fighting against the historical data for future success. A performance rating equivalent to a second-place Technical finish, the best Signature, and a top-20-percentile Showstopper results in Star Baker 83.6% of the time. A stout :-) showing, and he walnut :-) believe he didn't win it. Unfortunately, the demographic of old men has really struggled to advance far in the competition. Maybe Gary can break the bundt cake mould :-)
🎉 Everybody Stays!
My favourite weeks in Bake Off are the ones where nobody goes home! I just wish it had happened under better circumstances. I really, really hope Shannon feels better and comes back better than ever next week.
And Star Baker? Half the tent could have won it! Mo, Gary, Yannis, Tom, Gabe, and maybe even Clara or Nikki could easily have won it too, in my eyes. Maybe that's a little generous. But I really see so much talent and great personalities in the tent!
I'm just so happy to have Bake Off back on TV, and to be back printing The Weekly Dollop with everyone. Exciting!
🍋 Ludicrous Loophole Saves Disastrous Danni
I'm new around here, but has anyone ever had as bad a showing as Danni did this week? I know they didn't eliminate Danni because Shannon fell ill, but come on! Shannon could have thrown together a Mr Kipling Make at Home sponge cake and easily cleared Danni's performance.
Second to last in the Technical, and both Danni's Signature cake and her vegan, self-foraged stinging nettle and sticky willy 🤢 self-portrait Showstopper collapsed in a heap. How she wasn't sent home is beyond me. No bonus points for guessing who the fan favourite for elimination will be next week.
Why was everyone on the show saying so many 's' words this week? Sumptuous, splendid, sweet, stout, sugary. Is this a bit that I'm not in on?
Temperature in the Tent
Gauging the heat from this week's Fresh Bakes
This week's Temperature was blind baked :-) Every slip went in before a single bake aired, so you were all going off the bakers' ages, jobs and bios. Don't read too much into it.
The Over/Under
Counting the over vs under words
Soggy, Stodgy, or Split
Calling the first word of the week
Stodgy it is: Danni said "stodge" in the Technical, the first of the three words anyone said.
Baker Points
How the bakers stacked up this week
Roll Models start banking these points from Biscuit Week.
Cake Week, Ranked
Top of the board takes the cake :-)
The Fallen
Always in our hearts
Shannon was ill and missed the Showstopper, so the judges chose not to send anyone home in her absence.
Next Week's Batch
Reminders for next time
Don't forget! Biscuit Week airs on Tuesday 29 September, and your Fresh Bakes calls are due by 8pm UK time that evening. Picks open this morning at 8am.
League players, your Roll Model is dealt before picks close, and Dollipop notes are due by Saturday at 8pm.